Cris (pinaycheeks) wrote,
Cris
pinaycheeks

all his fault..

lately.. my feelings have been frustration.. i want sumthing i cant have (a dood).. to me hes perfect.. sum might not agree (richard) haha i truly can say i really like this guy.. i have real feelings for him and hes one guy i can say i wont hurt.. ive been thru a lot since my break up w/ ryan.. i changed a lot.. my perspectives changed...
yes theres other fish in the sea.. but i dont want the other fish.. i can easily say being single is fun but everyone has those times when they jus want that one person to share memories w/, have fun w/.. the other fish dont catch my attention like this dood does.. the other fish dont meet my standards.. i jus wanna throw them back cuz these fish are too small... haha.. whoa..
wut do i do if i cant have this person.. stay friends.. thats fucking hard.. dont be his friend at all.. that sucks even more.. i think this guy is one of my tightest closest homie.. and i cant jus break off our friendship like its nothing cuz it means a lot to me.. i dont know what to do.. i try talking to other guys but it doesnt seem to take my mind off this special guy..i try thinkin "oh this guy is so nice.. lemme see if anything happens" but nuthin does happen cuz they're not "him"..
i dunno if what i feel is love yet.. but its really close.. i love like a friend.. but at the same time i like him alot.. GrRrr... i feel a close bond w/ him.. we have a lot of things in common.. we like the same things.. we think a lot alike as well.. for me.. its hard to find a person on the same level.. im trying to be picky here but the last guys i liked do not compare to "him" at all!!!!!!
is it bad to date people when ur feelings arent 100% in it? i dont think so.. but how am i gonna get over this guy if i dont start dating/liking other guys.. thats not fair to the new guy.. i dont wanna be in a new relationship when i want a relationship w/ sumone else...
i need an answer.. while i wait.. im here sitting frustrated on the comp IMing him like nothings wrong..
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